WHHEEEKEND

Why on Earth would I put myself voluntarily through 48 hours of little girl sleepover fun/torture? See the the word you use depends on who you talk to. The girls involved had fun. My husband waffled back and forth although torture would probably be too strong a word for him. He was gone for most of it, but he did get the first 6 hours of it alone with them (hee hee). He had to spend maybe 10 awake hours with them at most. Between work and sleep and the time he spent at BRO's house. Anywho, Regina Phalange would most likely consider it close to torture, even though one of the girls was MEL, her daughter. We've done this sleepover thing before, never for this length, though. Having the only child, it facinates me to hear the dialogue between the two, the rationale, the tattling, the jealoulsy, the fighting over miniscule, the "I get this" like they are calling shotgun or something when I offer up some treat. I've told them they have to share EVERYTHING and the first one to say 'I get this' doesn't get it. Don't be greedy, be thankful. Don't be sneaky, just ask me-I'll probaby say yes. And if I say no, I probably have a good reason. But these happen so few and far between, they are pretty much a free for all as long as they are reasonable in their requests. I don't offer up anything usually, but when they ask, I normally say yes.
But this is a 3 day weekend where I had no obligations to anyone. Why not enjoy the peace and quiet. I've had a horrible time at work lately. Can we say STRESSFUL? And it's only about to get magnificently worse in coming months. My head is still recovering from these stitches that are out, but it's tender and hello I still have epilepsy-still living with it every day!
Well, that's kinda the point. Howit shouldn't suffer because I am. Her life should be as normal as possible, even if mine can't be as normal as I want. I has to ask Supergramma to take her clothes shopping for me because I can't physically do it safely (she was happy to oblige-who doesn't love dressing a little girl?) But I WANT my howit to enjoy all the happys I did as a kid, even if she is younger than I was when she starts. I doubt I was 3 when I had my first sleepover, but I want to remember that she got to do it. Let's face it, these meds are messing with me. I'm not dying over here, but my brain is on the messed up side and I've got to take meds to correct it. Guess what. They mess with you more. There are times I cannot put a coherent sentence together and I don't know if it's me or the meds. I really think I know what I want to say-in my head, it sounds GREAT..I think. I just want Howit to know the joys of being a little girl and if it leaves a complete tornado of destruction in her wake well I will be the dictator when necessary and get it cleaned up. (so NOT the fun part-I had to be such a witchypoo today-oh well) I hope that Regina Phalagnge, Honey, and even Supergramma (who knew the girls were having the sleepover) will remind them of this time should I ever not be around to do so. Regina Phalange stated up front she would never reciprocate and I FULLY AND COMPLETELY understand why. If I wasn't completely delusional, I wouldn't do it either. But I even think Honey is understanding the importance of it, too. MEL, Howit, group hug and WHHHEEEEE

RANTING WHHHEEEEE

Ok, reader, settle in for one of those WHHHEEEEE's. I have something to say and get some popcorn if you want to continue on. YOU have been warned.
Oprah had a show on Friday about a so called taboo subject "social classes" and how they have changed with the economy decline. First a sidebar about how a woman pissed me off with her ignorant comment: she said something to the effect of a lower class person was a waitress or a person in the service industry. EXCUSE ME??? A waitress may not be a profession, but it's a great way to make bank if you're great at it (which I was-hello house and car!!) and if it ends up being your profession good for you! People gotta eat! This is where I insert expletive to the ignorant. Maybe she has only bad service, but servers are not lower class. I think she is for saying it.
Which brings be to my Whhheeeee for the day. I'll start off with I did not see the whole thing. That may not give me the right to rant. I still think I can. This recession sucks. Majorly. Which is why I took more hours at work. If you can get more hours in these times DO IT! I for one have never cared about what I have other than a roof over my head, and a means to transport myself to work, and clothes to wear to work. What kind of roof? One that doesn't leak is good. What kind of transportation? one that works. What kind of clothes? they like us to wear scrubs. Brand names don't matter. I love that I still have a job. I love my family. I'm grateful we haven't lost our house, and that we can put food on our table, and that we can keep the lights on too. Before I got this job, I didn't work for 18 months. I was disabled and they were trying to figure out and eventually came to the diagnosis of epilepsy. Can't waitress with epilepsy. We went through our own mini recession here in our house and had to scale back and do without. I got state disability for one year, and for 6 months, nothing. I don't even know how we survived, but we did. WITHOUT losing our house. WITHOUT going into massive debt.
I don't believe that only money and school degrees should be the defining measures of social classes. How do you handle yourself in times of financial crisis? Do you walk away from it all because you tried everything and it just won't work? Good for you for knowing when to quit. Do you try to sell or go for a short sale so the bank gets SOMETHING? and you can walk away with some dignity too? Even better! Do you file for bankruptcy? Bankrupt your home business a year into it, after deciding to have a child? Then decide to forclose on your house too? And when the bank says it's ok, we'll work with you so you can stay in your house you say 'no it's too much paperwork-it will be easier to move' and then decide to get a new laptop??
This to me is the definition of low class. Not a waitress, or a person in the service industry. The people who buy and buy, decide to bankrupt so somewhere down the line people get laid off. And these people still have jobs. And these people who still have jobs keep buying and living for free till the forclosure goes through. Low class. It has nothing to do with money. It's about attitude and entitlement. And it stinks. And to that I give a big fat expletive WHHHEEEEE

Count your WHHHEEEEE's

It's a little late, but I'm a mom, so it's to be expected, right?
Everyone counts their blessings or gives thanks around the 'major holidays' in the fall. Well reader, I'm here to change all that. I am all about counting blessings and giving thanks and while mother's day isn't a major holiday it certainly should be about giving thanks. I'm not looking for a big gift or a certificate or even a 'day off' (those don't come often enough, do they?) Who can afford any of that these days anyhow? I know you're thinking 'her meds have kicked in and she's having delusions-motherhood is a thankless job' From young children it is, yes. HOWEVER! (got your attention didn't I!) It isn't for us grown ups. We could thank our fellow mothers for what they do for us. We could thank our own mothers for what they did (or say a silent prayer to HIM for what they didn't) teach us. We could thank our neighbors who watched them in a pinch or who ever you might think be in need of thanks because her family ain't cuttin' it, call her, write her, email her, face book her, blog about her, something. It goes something like this:
I am so blessed to be the position I am in, in my family-between the one who taught and the one who gets to be taught. Supergramma did an amazing job raising 3 children (I am a twin) and Howit is the first grandchild. I love watching them delight in each other. While no family likes to be afflicted with any burden, I am in a unique position because of the support I have. I have honey, who I am very grateful for, but the women surrounding me are always there when I need them. I get to take this burden and hopefully shoulder it for my family and that gives Supergramma even more time with Howit, and gives her another chance at doing more fun things with her. And the BNE get huge thanks for all they do. They are amazing with Howit and I had Howit make her a gift for mother's day. I also gave some nifty smelling body cream. She said it was exactly what she needed in the moment. She prayed for something anything and then here we come around the corner with a very small gesture and her day is brightened and spirits are lifted. It doesn't take much. Regina Phalange is my BEFF at work and her hubby is in another country right now for work for 30 days. I brought her dinner. Small gesture, but the little things she does for me, like hold my hand while I get 15 shots in my head-I'm grateful to her. I love her dearly and she deserves mad props for lifting my sorry butt off the ground-literally. Banana and Ladidadi make me smile with simple I love you's every day. We make each other laugh everyday. Respectively they are the oldest and youngest members of the office and we still mesh well. WE can even make our hands laugh, and for this, I'm grateful. I have to carry a magnet in my pocket every day to make my device work and we discovered paperclips stick to it-they think it's funny to throw them at me-you gotta laugh at yourself sometimes. Ross is simply Ross and always makes sure I'm well cared for. She always makes sure I have plans for my birthday and makes sure I get a card because honey hasn't always produced well in that department. It's gotten better after 15 years of practice. And he's not a mother, and we need a majot heart to heart , but I must send a WHHHEEEEE out to BRO I don't know what he said or did, but I so seriously in a completely non offensive non sexual platonic way love him that I want to hug him in the way we do. It's been 15 years, we can do that it's really ok.
I'm just very grateful because my life could be so much worse. I have to repeat this to myself when I get down. Apparently there are 11 antiepileptic drugs that can make you suicidal. I take 3 of them. Didn't we already discuss this? Anyway, I know people out there suffer from things far more deadly and even more destructive than what I have. And I don't make light of what I have. This is freaking frustrating. I dont' want it. I still try to figure out when how but not why. But when people come into my office and say there husband/wife just got laid off, I remember how blessed I am to only have epilepsy. ONLY. WHHHEEEEE

Long time, no WHHHEEEEE

My how time can fly! But is anybody reading this anyway? My mind needs to blog, but honey has moved the computer so it now shares the tv and I used to blog when honey and howit were watching something I didn't care to see. Oh well, life moves on.
The stitches are out. I saw my doc yesterday and am still trying to digest it all (neuro doc). She is going to aggresively treat me because she knows she can trust me and she gave me the long term goals and short term plans to meet those goals. She looked like she wanted to cry the whole time. I feel so bad for being so complicated. She is so amazing for not ever giving up, for being so supportive. I can email her ANYTIME, call whenever, she fits me in whenever, she gives up new patients to see me. As a person who schedules people and has to do the same for complicated cases, I know what that means. We have a seclect group of patients in our pratice for each doctor that are complicated that we fit in no matter what, so for her, that's me. I feel so special. No, it's not really good. You don't want to be that patient. It's nice to be so well taken care of. It sucks to have to be so well taken care of. But having good care is important so let's look at the bright side and whhheeeee. For my birthday, my work girlies got me a book on epilepsy (regina phalange paid attention) that I hinted (ok asked) for. It's so detailed it's depressing and informative all at once. Holy cow, this is me. Holy {expletive} this is me! Who knew? Have you heard the song "You're gonna miss this?" It's a country song and I don't know who sings it and it's so true. I remember all the times it's talking about and now that I'm living it, I know for sure, I want to tell my daughter to savor every blessed moment because time flies and you will miss the carefree days of youth. I'm rambling and jumping but not really. I'm not dying of cancer, but when you are faced with something 'incurable' that you will have to manage for the rest of your life and that your doctor is trying to figure out how to make better and that it will get worse before it gets better, you just reflect and get rambly. Oh and 3 of my meds can give me suicidal tendacies. Boy could my twisted side have fun with that. LOL JUST KIDDING THAT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY I KNOW BAD JOKE There are 11 drugs on the list , and I take 3 of them together. And I am not even depressed. I think it's ironic because the study happened to come out on Tuesday and since then everyone has been asking me 'HOW ARE YOU" but no one has said why. Now I know. If anyone tells my father about this, I will however, become homicidal! not joking at all.
Well reader, if you are out there, thanks and if not, that's ok, this is very therapuetic for me and I appreciate the opportunity to make me feel better about me. ANd once again, to all my girlies, WHHHEEEEE