Getting it right

I am human, therefore I have made so many mistakes I can't even count that high. I don't just mean the simple mathematical mistake or oops forgot to pick up the milk. I mean soul changing mistakes. Would I do it differently if I could......I don't know. It's obvioulsly made me who I am today. Perfectionist with the little stuff-I really beat myself up over the little stuff and am trying to let it go. With the big, soul changing stuff, I give great pause to all that I do. This mainly comes in the form of my relationships. I want to write well on the humanity in my life. Is yelling obscenities at a certain person going to change things? NOPE. It might most definitely make me (or all of us) feel better. But I've learned to keep it in the circle of the WHHHEEEEE because if you can't say something nice to someone, say it to someone else :) Seriously, I did wrong to many in my early years and if we only get one go around, I want to get it right. I try to focus my energies where I know it will be enjoyed, used and/or reciprocated. Not that I expect anything in return. I just know that the people I choose to maintain a close relationship with will not take without planting a seed of joy, kindness, love or simple APPRECIATION in return. It is good to give freely of yourself. I've done it to a fault (literally). Take my advice-don't do it if you'll be left on empty permanently. Giving should bring you some measure of satisfaction somewhere. When it stops doing that even on a semi-regular basis GET OUT...RUN as fast as you can. There are some people you just can't get rid of-family member, co-worker etc., so you have to learn to make peace with it, and just avoid the closeness if at all possible. They try to suck you back in-go with your gut and RUN!!!! It's not worth it. You'll be left a shell and you should be fulfilled. You have a right to be happy at your own expense. But when the cost is too high, walk away (or run like the dickens!) It can be so hard to recognize, and it can be maddening to figure out. And letting go can be so painful. I know that I have let go to get it right and while it hurts for awhile (good memories tend to creep in) once time passes I know I've done the right thing for me in the long run.
As I said before, this is my form of therapy, and I am speaking to myself and there is so much more to getting it right, that this is most likely part one.....WHHHEEEEE