I'm back

Ok, so I cleaned and this is my reward. I may have Whhheeeeed about this in the past so forgive me, but I have decided something:I am ok with my kid asking for things in a store. When I was growing up, if we were in a store and dared to ask for anything my goodness the earth would open up and swallow us up right then and there. But as a female in this day and age she should know what she wants and not be afraid to ask for it. Example: grocery store "mom can I have a banana?" Who's going to say No? Or she'll ask for grapes or berries or even a can of green beans or corn! Sometimes she'll simply notice the tall stand with all the balls "l00k sweeite-balls" "yes howit balls!" and we keep on going. How will she ever get what she wants if she doesn't ask. To me, I've decided and discussed with honey and supergramma and BNE (since they are her other caregivers and take her to stores to run errands) that she can ask all she wants=it's how she handles the NO that's important. She needs to be able to handle it without melting down-so far, so good. I/we can usually say no if needed and move on. If we get a 'why', I/we've been able to use 'It's too expensive, it's for a 5 year old, I already bought you {whatever} today.' And she says "oh, ok" and we move on. If needed, I ask why she wants it. I've had to ask her twice if she thinks pouting will get her what she wants and she said yes I told her it won't so she stopped. Talking to them works. I really try to remember as best I can what I felt like at that age and what my feeling was and why I may have wanted something. She just sees it all and wants it all. Ok, fine. If we're shopping for a gift for someone else, she isn't allowed to get something for herself. It's about them, not her. But I do let her shop for the gift-what fun that is. I really think letting her ask and handle the disappointment will serve her well later. I don't handle disappointment well. I don't know how to ask for what I want. I'm just now learning how to do it. If she can start to learn at 3-I may be on to something here.
Nature versus nurture:I always thought a lot of kids behaviors are learned. I am superultrablessed in that my daughter does not attented day care while I work. Before supergramma comes in the afternoon, BNE watch her for about 4 1/2 hours 2-3 days a week (yes we pay her). But she is not regularly around other children. She has MEL who just spent the night and BNE grandson and her have a blast together about once a month when he comes to visit. Today I heard howit say "I'm gonna tell" Where did that come from? How do you learn to tattle if you're an only child? I guess a lot of these early things kids do, kids do no matter what and will do it's a developmental thing? Howit doesn't throw a fit when I/we tell her no at the store. I/we reason with her and can walk a way. She has tried to throw 3 tantrums here at the house with me. She layed in the hallway. Flung her arms and legs out. I looked down at her, smiled and, laughed and said "good luck with that", each time before I walked off. They each lasted about 15 seconds. So she knows crying and carrying on in the store isn't good. And she knows the difference between a baby crying and a child throwing a fit. We've talked about it. I guess it's all nature taking it's course, and we're supposed to nurture the proper behaviors? Wow how insightful. I can be so deep...WHHHEEEEE :)